Pain in the Name of Love
by Morganeth Taren'drel
Summary: a short fic set at the beginning of 'The Empty Child' Jack views Rose and the Doctor Arrive in London. But it's no longer his time line...


**AN**: Considering how painful Jack's time line can be to think about it, I can't help but wonder sometimes about points of crossing over. Which is what this story focuses on; I know there're a lot of other opportunities out there in the Doctor Who series to create more fics like this. In fact the latest episode I saw gave me an idea, not sure if I'll pursue it yet. But I hope you enjoy this.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters from Doctor Who

**Pain in the Name of Love**

Whoourr whoourr whoourr...

It was that sound again! Jack shot up in his bed eyes wide, had he dreamt it? Though at times it felt more like a nightmare to him, it was the sound of being left behind abandoned by friends.

Whoourr, whoourr...

There, it came again a few more times Jack leapt from his bed rushing to the window. He knew now he hadn't dreamt it. This truly was the Doctor entering Jack's time. Jack braced himself against the windowsill pushing the two narrow pains of glass outwards so he could look down on the street below, and there he saw them, his Doctor and Rose Tyler.

Jack had always hoped this day would come, that he'd see the Doctor again. He couldn't count the number of times he'd run one way or another at the slightest sound that reminded him of the TARDIS. But it had never actually been. As time continued its slow crawl around Jack, he'd felt sure sooner or later he'd see the Doctor again.

The Doctor and Rose were both eying their surroundings; he could almost make out their muffled conversation, as it echoed through the empty alley. Jack slowly slipped to his knees resting chin on the sill as he continued to watch the Doctor. His leather jacket caught the faint light of street lamps as he reached into his pocket for his trusty sonic screwdriver.

Jack felt a strong pain in his chest as he saw the Doctor disappear inside the small night club, Rose remaining outside blond hair dancing as she continued to look around. Before her attention was caught, by a small boy.

"Mummy?"

Jack shuddered at the sound, remembering all too clearly what had/was happening. It had been his fault this child was made to wander the streets of London searching for his mummy. At the same time a surge of pure emotion swept through Jack as he remembered just what the Doctor had done for the citizens of London and for Jack too. The Doctor had opened Jack's eyes, had taken him into his TARDIS, and had given him a home he desperately missed.

_Why do I do this to myself?_ Jack asked himself darkly, he knew this day would come just a surely as tomorrow always did for him. No matter what he did to himself the day before, but this...

Jack was left helpless to just watch the Doctor and Rose as they worked to save London; as much as he ached to make contact with them Jack knew he couldn't enter his own time line. Sure enough Jack knew he would save Rose. Pulling both hands through his hair Jack desperately wanted to run down to the alley below to just reach out and touch the TARDIS to make himself believe it was real, and he could well see it again.

He'd been forced to play it especially safe once the war had started; he did his best to remain out of sight and especially to avoid the places he frequently visited as a solider. This left him with far too much time on his hands to think of this day, to imagine seeing the Doctor again.

But none of that dreaming had prepared him for the heartache he felt upon seeing the Doctor in the flesh. To know he was so close Jack could reach out and touch him.

Out came the Doctor again. And Jack climbed back to his feet, listening to him call for Rose in his familiar Lancashire accent. It sent a shiver down Jack's spin, and he felt his resolve begin to fade. Could it really hurt to just go down there and speak to this man?

Jack pounded his fist shapely against the sill, letting the pain focus him. He'd waited near one-hundred years just to see the last of the Time Lords, as Jack remembered him. The pain burned within him scorching his soul even as his eyes remained transfixed on the Doctor's retreating form.

His body screamed at him to leave this room. To shadow the Doctor, surely he could do that and remain out of sight. Jack never feared the air raids, what could they do to him that his own body wouldn't be able to repair? Before he knew it the Doctor was gone, and Jack felt the shock slowly fade from his body, as he turned away from the window and slid down to the floor pulling knees tightly to his chest.

Tears stood out on his eyes clinging desperately to lashes before falling down his face. Jack slammed his head against the wall several times, shutting his eyes tightly against the cascade of tears. _So close...but I might as well be worlds away..._ he thought desperately envious of his self that was naturally a part of the time line, _As much as a time agent can be.._ Jack could also feel sorry for both himself, now and then about to meet Rose. Because for himself the pain of that future abandonment didn't lesson with time.

Jack's head came up slowly when he felt as though a hand was brushing against his head. But as he looked around Jack realized it was more like the invisible hand was stroking his mind. The touch was as familiar as the Doctor's voice, and nearly as comforting. Jack heard the Doctor's words echo in his head '_The heart of the TARDIS...Even I don't know how strong that is..._'

"Hello old friend," Jack whispered softly, cherishing the moment of being recognized...remembered. For the moment, not abandoned but found.

Thanks for Reading

Morganeth Taren'drel


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